Healing like the lotus
My story is rife with mud. Lots and lots of mud. That’s healing for me. It’s the feeling of being so stuck in the mud, right up to your eyeballs, with only your nostrils poking out, keeping you alive. Yet, somehow you manage to carry on for another day, another moment, another second. Somehow,you find the strength to pull yourself out.
You claw, you push, you cry, you dig, you scratch, you scream your way through the thickest, stickiest, smelliest, heaviest shit and you make it out of the mud, to the surface.
When you catch your breath, if you do, you turn to look back at the world behind you, reflecting on all you’ve been through for some validation, and you see the lotus.
The lotus is born from the mud. Its stalk pushes through the murky waters to the surface where it blossoms into one of the most beautiful flowers you’ll ever know.
The next time you’re walking past a river or pond flush with water lillies, please take off your shoes or sandals, make your way into the water and connect with this plant. Very similar to the sacred lotus but growing in some rivers, lakes, or ponds in Ontario. Open and close the petals as you cradle the blossom in your hand. You won’t regret it.
Looking at the lotus, you realize, somehow, fucked up as it may be, it was worth it. You are here now. Out of the mud. You are on the other side. Every struggle was a lesson and an offering to become more aware of your desires, your passions, and your drive to co-create the life you want with spirit. You realize, you were in the mud for a reason.
These past 4 years for me was one of my stuck in mud healing experiences. My marriage ended, then my business partnership and cherished friendship ended, and then, as I tried to become a single mother, the government locked down my province for 9235394 years.
Trust me when I say, I felt mud up to my eyeballs. I felt like I was drowning. I tried to scream and no sounds came out. Just more mud filling the space where my voice used to be. In the deep mud, my inner child felt abandoned, the mother part of me felt deeply abandoned by the father of my children, and as a woman, I felt betrayed by my sisterhood and community. I felt so alone.
Every step forward was hard. At times, I sunk even deeper and it got really dark. Then the plants came to me. More and more. The synchronicities showed themselves and I began working with them instead of ignoring them and writing them off. The plants began to heal my mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical self. Therapy was essential too. I met new friends, built a new community and I managed to find the lotus within me. In the depths of those dark times, I had longed to be strong enough to push through to the surface to blossom while being rooted into the earth and here I was, reaching for the surface with the help of these tools.
Through this work, an awareness was alight within me - healing can not happen without going through the difficult work just like the lotus can’t exist without the mud and murky waters. So, if you’ve felt this way, stuck in the mud, can you reach for the light? Can you see that dark is necessary for growth? We all have choices to make. Will you stay dormant or fight to thrive?
